


Out of Sync

by ardentaislinn



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Post 2X06, then fix-it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-03
Updated: 2014-11-03
Packaged: 2018-02-23 22:39:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2558291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ardentaislinn/pseuds/ardentaislinn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fitz and Simmons finally have a moment of synchronicity, but it doesn't last.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Out of Sync

For once it was easy.

Almost like it was before, when they could solve any problem, create any new thing, as long as they worked together.

For months now, it has been all out of sync. They just couldn’t quite match their minds and work in unison, with the perfect rhythm of give and flow that had once characterised their relationship.

But today it had finally clicked. They had been given a time-sensitive problem to solve, and the two of them were working side by side just like the old days.

“Fitz, if you…” she didn’t even need to finish her sentence before he was adjusting the calibrations on the device.

“Jemma, I think you…” and she was already changing her formula.

Fitz hadn’t felt this… _normal_ in a long time. A weight had lifted off his chest. It was just like nothing had changed. He was whole again.

When they finally had it perfect, Jemma threw her arms around him in celebration. Fitz turned to her with a smile, about to congratulate her for a job well done. But she had lent forward, clearly intending to kiss his cheek and their lips collided awkwardly.

And suddenly it was a desperate clash of lips and tongues and teeth. He had no idea who had initiated it, or if it was an extension of their earlier synchronicity. But he wasn’t going to question it.

His fingers clutched at her waist, drawing her closer until there wasn’t a breath of space between them. Her fingers ran through his hair and he groaned and stumbled closer into her. Beakers and equipment clattered as she bumped into the workbench.

Their lips stay fused together as months and years of longing completely overwhelmed them. Fitz reached up to cup her cheek, and as his fingers brushed her face he realised he was trembling.

No, not trembling. His hands always shook, now. He’d almost forgotten in the thrill of the moment that he was broken. Damaged.

He tore himself away from her, stepping back a few paces. He couldn’t look at her, couldn’t bear to see the expression on her face. Would it be pity? Hurt? _Love?_ He wasn’t sure what terrified him more.

Fitz took a deep breath, scrambling to think of something to say. But, as always, words failed him. Instead, he strode past Jemma and out the room.

He thought he heard a faint sob behind him and his heart clutched, tears welling in his eyes. His feet sped up, carrying him away from her.

Away from _them_.

`

Jemma found him almost an hour later, pacing the floor of his room. She listened for a moment through the door, her thundering heart tempting her to turn and walk away. But she couldn’t do that. Not to Fitz, not to herself. It was too important to ignore.

She gave a perfunctory knock before opening the door and stepping inside. Fitz halted as he caught sight of her.

“Jemma…,” he murmured, a pained look on his face. “I’m sorry.”

Jemma stepped closer. “What for?” She longed to reach out to him, comfort him, but knew it wasn’t the time.

He frowned. “What…what do you mean? For kissing you, of course.”

Jemma let out a huff of annoyance. “Really, Fitz. If you had been paying attention, you would have realised that I was kissing you as much as you were kissing me.” She inched even closer to him. He didn’t back away, and Jemma took that as an encouraging sign.

He finally looked her in the eye, his expression filled with a tentative hope. “What are you saying?”

She took his hand. “I’m saying, you silly man, that I absolutely forbid you from apologising. There is nothing to be sorry for.”

Fitz looked torn, and wrenched his hand out of hers as he took a few paces back. “If that were true, Jemma, then I’m sure you would have let me know long before now. You’re just taking pity on a broken man.”

The heat of anger rose to her face. “Don’t be ridiculous. Not only am I not that selfless – I would never kiss a man I didn’t want to, no matter the reason – but the fact of the matter is that I have been in love with you for years. You were just too damn dense to notice.” Her breathing was coming fast now, mirroring her racing thoughts. She hadn’t come here intending to tell him that.

Fitz was staring at her with an agonised expression. “Jemma, you never said.”

“Of course not. You fancied a few other women, all prettier and cooler than I am. I wasn’t sure if you’d ever feel the same. It got to the point where I was sure you never would, but then you did and it wasn’t the right time…”

“Jemma, I’ve been mad about you for years. But that’s beside the point. Since you’ve been back, you never said. You let me go on believing that…” he didn’t, couldn’t, finish the sentence.

Jemma’s heart clutched. She thought of all those long days of resentful silence, the awkwardness, the two of them completely out of sync. Tears sprang to her eyes. “I thought I’d missed my chance. That you had changed your mind. Or never really felt it in the first place.” She dropped her head to her chest, and watched a single tear drop to the floor. Shoes appeared in her vision, and she felt his presence hovering, not touching.

“Jemma,” he murmured hesitantly. “I’m not the same. Not anymore, and not ever. I’m broken.”

She looked up, frowning fiercely. “Don’t you ever say something like that about yourself again, Fitz. You are not broken, you’re different. You carry the marks of an incredible experience and sacrifice.” She took a deep breath. “It hasn’t changed the way I feel. Not one bit.” She hesitated for a moment. “Has it changed how you feel?” Her voice rose nervously on the last word. “Do you still hate me for going?”

His eyes widened in surprise. “No, Jemma. I never hated you. Hurt and confused, yes, but never hate. I love you far too much for that.”

Jemma felt like the air had been knocked from her lungs. She threw her arms around him and he automatically clutched her close.

"Same," was all she could manage before his lips descended on hers, kissing the rest of her words away.


End file.
